It would be near impossible (without boring the hell out of you) to explain the past month of my life to you, so I will attempt to sum it up and circle back around to something PCOS-related. Mkay?
After my husband being deployed for a week, we finally got a call that a potential tenant wanted to schedule a showing of the house and awesome enough, the day became a gold mine of potentials, leaving the puppies and I on the road, eating egg whites out of the truck and not getting a post-workout shower until late at night. The day was a success, though, and the new tenant was eager to get in asap: a.k.a. Aura, you have to be out of the house in a few days. Say whaaaaat?! Somehow I managed to get everything packed, moved into storage or my vehicle, and cleaned with ample time (thanks to Mike & Amanda for being awesome friends!) and got to the gym most of those few days because I knew it would reduce my anxiety.
So, the house was rented and the pups and I ended up at my Ma's house. It was perfect timing because I was able to spend my brother's birthday week with him and some quality time with my nephew and sister-in-law. Now, I was freaking out quite a bit because honestly, Ken and I did not want to transition from the military back to Ohio. While we love our families and adore the time we have with them, we both agreed that we wanted to move forward with something new in our life, especially with such a huge life change coming. With that said, I (sadly) left my pups with my Ma and drove out to Chicago in search of temp work until I can begin working with Teach For America in the spring. For the past 2 weeks, I have gone to a variety of interviews and finally landed a teaching position that I will begin on Friday! (I still find it ironic that I could not get a professional interview success for the past year in NC but I get here and have multiple opportunities immediately awaiting.) I feel blessed to have my sister here to stay with and she has been awesome but I definitely have not felt like myself.
.....
I have done healthy food prep several times but am thrown off because I'm too afraid to run the blender in the middle of the day when my brother-in-law is sleeping before work, I'm trying to save money so am too cheap to go buy protein because I'm still in sticker shock from coming from a NC budget and military access, I have gone to the gym every single day (and that is a blessing), I am not on an eating schedule because her kitchen is just not what I'm accustom and I feel awkward, etc. etc. etc. I'm really trying hard to stick with a clean diet as much as possible but admittedly, I've had one too many 'off' days in the past 2 weeks. I am not beating myself up about it, but I am worried because they have come about from either a.) staying out too late to be a designated driver or the fact that I went out twice and I never go out or drink so my sleep is lacking, which is a big No-no for me (&PCOS) or b.) I'm depressed.
Phew, that felt like a relief. I don't know if anyone reads this far down but it feels good to have that off my chest. I don't want to share an additional stress with my husband and my sister, while she's an awesome listener, she has recognized it and I fear she will feel guilt for it regardless the fact that it has anything to do with her or not. I have cried more times in the past 2 weeks than I have in the past 2 years...or more. I'm not a crier, typically not emotional, and well, I asked for this right? I'm honestly starting to think that I was too naïve in realizing what life would be life until I have my family back together here. I miss my quiet, boring, country life right now and while I know it will subside soon enough, I can't help but think I've made a mistake uprooting our entire life for the dream of 'making a difference' or 'greater impact'. I feel like I've already matured even more in the sense that I should have listened to my wise husband when he told me that it doesn't matter if I'm in the city because I have already touched so many lives in my young age, even living in a suburban military community. I'm praying everyday for the pieces to fall where they will and that I can keep picking myself back up with an optimistic attitude and healthy lifestyle.
With that said, if you have PCOS, please-I beg of you-try to get those 8 recommended hours of sleep each and every night; you will know when your body is rested and properly performing and you have that positive mindset and little stress that you have gotten a restful night sleep. The stress that many of us PCOSers' have is only magnified when we are lacking sleep and proper nutrition; trust me on this one.
More to come soon enough, as I will be back on the blogging grind with more focused on PCOS recipes and fitness updates-I forgot to mention I'm OFFICIALLY an ACE Certified Personal Trainer, as I passed my exam last week. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to have clientele with PCOS, as I can understand the frustration with managing weight with this syndrome. If interested, please let me know!
Until next time....
Take time each day to reflect on your personal and professional goals and recognize what truly matters in life.
