Clarity.

Finding clarity.

Whether or not you have PCOS, it can be rather easy to succumb to the feelings of anxiety and depression in the fast-paced, money-driven, obligatory world that we live. First, feelings of stress and anxiety raise cortisol levels. Which, in turn, cause our bodies to respond in ‘fight or flight’, thus storing fat…aka stress hormones are a huge reason women that diet and exercise cannot lose fat, especially around the midsection. Secondly, if you stop and take a minute to step back from your anxious thoughts, you may question, “Why the hell do I even care?”.

Aside from amenorrhea, I have to say that my feelings of being anxious are my worst symptom of PCOS. Honestly, it doesn’t help that my ‘calm’ (my husband) is always deployed. When we are in the groove and he is home, he knows my triggers and works through it with me and makes me laugh, takes meditative walks with me and the dogs, and reminds me that there is absolutely nothing in this world worth stressing over so much that I cannot function. What is your ‘calm’?

Well, lately, this has been me: preparing for a long-ass move down to Texas with the dogs and more money being spent, starting a new life, being afraid of change (but yet loving the idea of it!), fearful of failing, being scared of success, even and feeling overwhelmed with meeting everyone’s expectations, spending enough time with certain people, losing the fat that I’ve gained in the past few months of ‘bulking’ (there better be as much damn muscle under there as I think, given my dedication) and still struggling to meet a healthy relationship with food. Do you find yourself indecisive? This is the one quality in myself that I have been working on extensively and deeply since last summer. It frustrates me and I have now come to realize that I do it due to my feelings of fear. Funny thing? When I step back from all those negative feelings, I realize that I have accomplished a lot and that my self-worth should not be viewed as, nor determined, by how I look on the outside or how much money I can make. Since these two topics seem to revolve in my life, I have to remember that I started lifting and living healthy to be just that: healthy!

I wanted to cure my PCOS naturally and yes, look amazing. I think my big trigger toward negativity came when I chose to compete in bodybuilding shows because since then I have been back on that negative relationship. Being told that I have to eat certain foods that trigger my symptoms just in order to utilize the beautiful suit I purchased and stress about getting that perfect v-taper down, somewhere I lost why I began. That stress set me back from where I came; I remember a year ago I was starting the Bodybuilding.com transformation challenge; I had already come a long way in my journey but did want to have more visible muscle but guess what? I never stopped loving myself and felt amazing eating intuitively and yes, clean, healthy PCOS friendly foods and dissed any ‘coach’ that told me what to eat….how the hell did I lose that happy feeling of being free to do with my body what I want? With that said, I have chosen to reduce that stressor from my path at the moment. I may sell my beautiful suit to even just get that out of my mind and I can bet you that I will probably be back down in weight and a healthy relationship with food and yes-probably-wanting to compete by this summer but I cannot have that as my sole reason anymore. I totally digressed, though, but I have realized how much I allow this to consume my life. Guess what? I took my little brother to the gym with me today after eating froyo (totally made me bloated, and I wouldn’t recommend but I’m leaving him soon so we went out after his bball game and I didn’t beat myself up) but I went through my planned leg routine while he bounced around, spotted me some, and we were silly, went to play bball upstairs and I felt that freedom high again. I have not stopped loving the gym but I prefer to be a free spirit and do what feels good in the moment when it comes to the leisure aspects of my life.

Now, in the other aspect: $.... I almost forgot why I love being in the classroom: if I can end my day knowing that I have influenced at least one person, student, in a positive way that day then I have succeeded. It will be a rough year with my husband leaving the Marine Corps and that is why I feel the pressure of saving, saving, saving, but oh yea, GUESS WHAT? There is always going to be somewhere where we are going to spend our money and I have faith that my hard work ethic and ambition to succeed (and my hub’s amazing dedication) will lead us directly where we need to be in life, when we need to be there. We cannot jump to the future and I do not want to be living each day just hoping to get to the next because that is not true living. Now, this was super-stressing me out yesterday, on top of having to count my macros….which is another aspect that actually makes me run the other way of dieting; I guess I don’t do well with restrictions placed on me but I’m cool making them on myself.

You know that feeling when all of a sudden you feel like your heart is going to pump out of your chest, your thoughts get confused, and you question everything going on in your life, even your current actions? I’m getting anxious just thinking of it. It makes me want to scream, cry, hide, and eat, or possibly puke. Just being honest. Depending on the circumstance, this happens less or more; not the point. Since I don’t have my ‘calm’, what do I now rely on? Yoga or meditation. In the past, I would go online and track others’ lives via social media, as if that would make me feel better…? No, not. Comparison makes it worse. Yoga is a general practice for me but I am newly trying meditation, in itself, aside from my yoga practice. Oh, my word. You will feel renewed. Well, last night, I knew I needed clarity. Period. I needed to sift out all the negative junk in my brain and realize the positive, bountiful spirit within myself that is capable of anything and in control of my feelings. I will not let my hormones dictate my happiness. After searching, ‘meditation for clarity’, I found this amazing YouTube video; take the time, focus inward, do the poses and forget about any pain, cry it out if you need to but enjoy the experience. And, I am finished rambling for now. Please, find time this weekend to meditate. You will thank me (I hope)! J

S.M.A.R.T. Goals 2014

Specific.
Measurable.
Attainable.
Realistic.
Timely.


Reflect on each word. Take out a sheet of paper and ask yourself:
What do I want to accomplish?
How will I take action?
When will I actively do this?
What obstacles will keep me from this goal?
How can I be ready for a detour?
Why do I want to accomplish this goal?

I am working on mine today.
Physical.
Emotional/Spiritual.
Relational.
Career.

Share for accountability!

Go to BodySpace @ Bodybuilding.com to join and let us take control over our bodies! >>> Lift out PCOS & follow PCOSAA on FB, Twitter, Instagram

& ME! @aura_sklenicka on Twitter, IG, FB!

Happy New Year!

2014BodyspaceSpokesmodel

I just uploaded my mandatory video and my progress pics on Bodyspace (via Bodybuilding.com) were already up! I am ready to expand our voice for PCOS and show that weightlifting is beneficial and we can achieve anything we set our minds to, so wish me luck, please and thank you! Also, I created a group on Bodyspace called, "Lift out PCOS", for fellow ladies to join. It is an optimistic, judgment and intimidation-free zone!

So you want to start working out...?!



And..here's your funny for today!

 

Recently, I have been approached by two different females with very different fitness goals, lifestyles, age ranges, body compositions, and access to equipment seeking advice on wanting to start on a path to getting in shape. As a frequent reader of many social media and fitness sites, I have found a common theme that women don't want to get bulky and just want to look toned. Unfortunately, some advertising and marketing schemes have made women assume that these are any valid outcomes of working out. First off, while the rate of muscle growth is greatest for newbies, it takes a tailored diet and lifting regimen to truly see large muscles on a female. (I will highlight PCOS and muscle growth in a moment.*) Secondly, that toned appearance can come only from using muscles, not from just doing cardio. (Trust me: I was a cardio bunny at the beginning of my journey and mind you, my weight was lower but my booty was not lifted and I wasn't necessarily 'tight'.) You will get lifted in all the right places just by slowly implementing a resistance aspect to your fitness routine. With that said, I have come up with a few circuits that you can complete if you are new to working out and have no equipment at home. I will do circuits like this at times I do not have access to my home equipment or a gym. I hope the links have not expired on these, but it should send you to videos demonstrating proper form.

 

For the following circuits, do each workout in order, take a minute or two break and then repeat the sequence again as many times as possible. (I'd say first go for at least 2, no more than 5 times through each circuit.) For each exercise in the circuit, do as many as possible, until your muscles become fatigued. I've made the name of each exercise a link to exercise demonstrations that help show you proper form. Example: Circuit One, do 15 pushups, 12 bench dips, 45 seconds wall sit, 30 Russian twists. I take a water break, then repeat that circuit 2 more times before moving on to Circuit Two. I'd recommend doing this workout 3 times this week, with a rest day in-between (i.e. Monday, Wednesday, Friday).

Circuit One

Pushups

Bench Dips

Wall Sit
Russian Twist

Circuit Two

Plank
Flutter Kicks
Diamond Pushups
Bodyweight Squat

Circuit Three

Mountain Climbers
Calf Raise
Jumping Jacks
Bodyweight Lunges



If you are already doing cardio, go ahead just remember that there is no need to over-do it! I'm a fan of High Intensity Intervals or Tabata training but I cannot recommend that for unseasoned individuals, as it is easy to lose coordination and injure oneself during these. For those with PCOS, if you incorporate these circuits, and yoga and leisure walks several times a week you should be good; no need to overstress your adrenal system. REMEMBER that the #1 first goal of working out should be a focus on health, hence my little graphic above! Focusing on health first will also decrease the liability that you will stop the program because it does take time to see physical changes. Invest now in your health and save money and enjoy life down the road!
 

*If you are an aerobics junky, stop. Do low intensity relaxing exercise (leisure walking, tai chi, restorative yoga) and weight training instead to control cortisol which can be one of the major issues in disrupting brain ovary signaling. (Teta, Jade. Metabolic Effect, Inc. "How To Lose Weight with PCOS". www.metaboliceffect.com)

 

 

 

 

Take time to connect.

....and not online! I've gotten comments on my social media & BodySpace pages about being absent from posting in the past month. Reason #1 is truth: I was feeling insecure about the changes going on with my body. It's extremely difficult not to compare ourselves to others, or even what we once looked like. At the end of the day, though, only we can really tell the physical changes (because we nit-pick) and typically what we see of others is altered in some fashion. I was upset with myself for feeling this way because I felt like a hypocrite, trying to promote inner beauty and confidence to other women (and now some very impressionable teenage girls) but yet was allowing myself to hide. Aside from my insecurities, I also have been resting and sleeping....a lot. While I miss working to no end, at this point, I feel blessed to a point that I had the option to rest when my body needed to; which is a lot on these medications. (Reference previous post.) After the initial 2 weeks of really getting adjusted to the new meds, I do feel like I have a handle on them for the most part. I revert back to symptoms of fatigue, nausea and dizziness if I don't eat enough food with them; which is actually hard because my taste buds are way off. Anyway, I do think they are assisting in my insulin levels, for sure. When I'm not drained and eating at proper intervals with them, I recognize a consistent level of energy, rather than prior instances of spikes and crashes. It may help that I have not had a taste for starchy carbohydrates, (or any, really) either. While I have always tried to keep my diet gluten-free and avoid those carbs that will send my body out of whack, we are all human and enjoy something different for time to time. The past month, my husband was away training, and being in the military, oftentimes he goes through a period where he'll have a hankering for restaurant food because he is deprived of food choices on a daily basis.
With that said, I had my first experience with pizza in a long time. Normally after one slice, I feel bloated, hyper then tired, and retain a lot of water the following day; my body does not like dairy and cheese, as that's recommended for almost all with PCOS (to at least not overdo the consumption, obv.). I hadn't been able to eat all day because well, every time I make a smoothie or salad lately, I can't finish it without feeling grossed out. Bizarre. Anyhoo, he had a few pieces the other night and I was not tempted whatsoever (that's a first!) but eventually got hungry and took a few bites....then the whole slice...and he asked me how I felt. Amazingly, not the same as before; so, my silly husband bugged me to eat the other one (Is he trying to fatten me up yo?! No, his claim is that he never sees me indulge and he knows how mental PCOS is for me in 'not being normal'...eff that, we are a special kind of normal!) So, I did...and guess what, it was like I never had pizza at all! I woke up the next morning still with ab definition, (I didn't mention, I've been leaning back out slowly) if not more than the day before! So, I always see fellow bodybuilders bragging about this, doing IIFYM (If it fits your macros), and at least getting to carb cycle and get super jealous because all those approaches don't work so hot for me but I finally got where they are coming from the day after an 'off' meal.. (I don't like the word 'cheat', it is dirty and presents the opportunity for guilt.)
To sum it up: Metformin, you must be doing the trick yo; you have mean side effects and I am not sure how long I will take your daily grumpiness, but thank you for that little moment. If anything, having that moment made me appreciate, even more, the hard work we put into a PCOS-friendly diet, exercising, and practicing meditation. I have always wondered how my body would really respond to my bodybuilding lifestyle if it was 'normal' and I suppose maybe I had a glimpse of that and it was validation of willpower, determination, and greater respect for all the other ladies out there dealing with PCOS. There is no cure, but we can know that every step in the right direction makes us more powerful from the inside-out.
To finish off: the title of my post was intended to describe the time I have been resting, I have taken that time to reconnect with my spirituality on a deeper level and am reflecting through prayer and reading, as well as self-introspection on how I can become a better person for myself, my husband, my family, friends, even those on social media. You never know whose day you may change with the smallest action or word.

Not 'if' but 'when'.

Not if, but, when I get my entrepreneurship revved and going, I am thinking: Six Packs & PCOS! I am starting to see my 6-pack coming back; limited cardio, heavy ass weights and food that works with my hormones rather than against it! Full blog coming later...

Confessions of an Under-eater and Overachiever

A back porch, sunshine on my face, Blender Bottle full of BCAAs sweating from the heat, but a cool breeze of the wind blowing my hair out of my face; what more could a lady ask for? This is me in this moment. Instead of being grateful for the little things in life, I found myself throwing yet another pity party for how stuffed and fluffy I feel. Regardless of my intense leg workout this morning, I still find myself feeling guilty over consuming appropriate amounts of nutrition to gain muscle (hence the title of this entry). After losing an initial mass weightloss over the span of several years, I truly began focusing on only consuming unprocessed foods about 1.5 years ago and it has all been trial and error. This was about the time I discovered what Bodybuilding.com had to offer and researching every bit I could into PCOS and how I should be eating to truly lean out. Mind you, I had thought that I put on a good portion of muscle mass, simply by picking up a weight. My problem: inconsistency with one regimen. Yes, I believe that the body needs to have variety or it will no longer see results, but I’m talking trying absolutely every training program and ‘diet’ out in BroScience land and Endocrinology research websites, trying to strike a balance between being a bodybuilder and living with a hormonal imbalance-atypical of most bodybuilding regimes.

Despite my rambling, I have a point regarding my headline:

After finally completing my first (all-the-way through…not half-assed) 12-week challenge through Bodybuilding.com/BodySpace, I felt AMAZING! I was seeing abs that I had worked so hard for but had never actually seen, but I couldn’t fight the fact that I had not really changed all that much in a 12-week span regardless of the max effort I put in. So, I took a few weeks to decrease my cardio slightly but still lifted in heavy circuits, because I was not about to lose those abs! Well, sure enough, even with clean eating and limited indulgences, my abs were *poof* gone in an instant. I’m still working on figuring out if it’s my sensitivity to carbs or just the fact that my body fat percentage was not low enough. Several weeks after the challenge ended, I was approached in the gym by an older gentleman that recognized my dedication in the gym and volunteered his time to coach me for an upcoming figure show debut. Awesome, right?! It seemed that way for the first few weeks. I was getting my butt kicked but I loved that he said I was eating the right foods and portion sizes and said I would never max out over 1 hour of cardio-ever. (Annoying buzzer sound, here!) Well, sure enough, even me explaining my PCOS to him, he realized I wasn’t dropping weight like ‘most people’ would for the hours of training and food restrictions; so instead of listening to my input of trying high-intensity sprint intervals, he increased my cardio and pretty soon my life was all consumed with this and I soon became miserable. To make a long story short, I got news that a medical surgery took precedence over the show and the coach turned out to be ummm-unprofessional, to say the least- so after intense calorie restriction and all day gym sessions I was left having to have surgery and told to stay out of the gym for several weeks. Oh goody. Despite my long, leisurely walks with my husband and still doing some light cardio when I wasn’t in pain and of course, eating at a calorie deficit; I managed to gain weight right back. During this time I watched one too many of Dr. Layne Norton’s Youtube videos and read up on other bodybuilders and fitness professionals-with scientific degrees- on how to properly treat your body without destroying your mind and body, as I was doing. You see, when I am told to follow a plan, I follow it to a ‘T’, I execute everything with the mindset that it needs to be perfect and if I do not achieve what I envisioned, my psychological state begins to suffer. (PCOS women, you know all too well the cycle of stress from additional cortisol and quick onset of depression. REMEMBER: Stress will only make the fat cling and do NOT let your mind control your happiness!) When I added up how much I was eating on that prep prior to my surgery, I was down to ~800 calories/day, all of chicken, asparagus, and egg whites. Prior to that major deficit, I always thought it was recommended that I stay below 1200 calories/day to lose. Well, if you’re always trying to LOSE, eventually you have no further place to go and your body fights with you to maintain homeostasis. Putting this in perspective: I have been eating under 1200 calories/day (with the exception of family gatherings, holidays, or the occasional treat meal) for the past ummm, I’d say 3 years. Yes, that worked to get initial weight off, but I don’t know how I thought I could ever gain muscle size or cut when I have no surplus to cut from!

Back to me, sitting here fluffy and stuff… Over the past week being back in the gym I have been focusing on lifting some heavy @$$ weight and slowly increased my calories. Even my carbs. I still cannot manage to look in the mirror without being sad about lost abs or the feeling that I cannot stomach the amount of food I should be consuming to put on muscle, but my intent is to be able to stand this amount of food without putting on an excess amount of fat, so that when I do incorporate cardio again (no 2 hour sessions, I’ll be doing sprint intervals, sport activities, and yoga) I have a number to cut down from and know how to properly balance my intake to cut slowly. Perhaps I will utilize BB.com’s Cellucor challenge to lean out a bit so I feel more comfortable at the beach but nothing crazy and I’m pretty sure we’re looking at some muscle gains when my husband deploys again in the fall. I will never subject myself to an unhealthy way of life that only permits rebounds, poor self-esteem, or eating disorders. As much as it pains me not to feel comfortable yet in my bikini on the beach, living in Coastal Carolina, I know it will pay off in the long run. And, hey, my doctor said I shouldn’t be exposing myself to the bacteria from the sand and ocean yet, anyway; backyard kiddie pool with the pups, here I go!

Never forgo your happiness for an extrinsic motivator. Dig deep and know that you truly cannot succeed for long-term until you have intrinsic motivation and a deeper purpose to lead a healthy, balanced life.